By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
