I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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