"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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