Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
