Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
