come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
