I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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