weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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