I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
