he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
