Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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