think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
