I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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