it was like his penis was on wheels.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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