You're my little dorito
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
