dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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