under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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