You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you never un-have a 4some
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
