Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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