whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
