Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
