Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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