my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
