Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
