She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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