dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
