three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
