Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
