One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
