just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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