belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
