She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
