you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
