dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
