Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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