we're blogging at a bar
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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