I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize