If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
