I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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