Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
