Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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