I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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