There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
