Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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