i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
