Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
