It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
