you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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