She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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