So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
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Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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