look no pants
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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