I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
