So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
