he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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