I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
