If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
