8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
