he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
